Have you ever felt stuck in your life, like there’s no room to maneuver?
It can be hard to describe that feeling, or what it's like when something is missing, especially when there is so much good, too. I like to call this feeling emotional itchiness. It’s like wearing really uncomfortable underwear —it can ruin your day but it isn't worth complaining about. It’s not the worst thing but you still want to change it as soon as you can. You know that if the feeling goes on for too long, it could drive you bonkers. It feels a bit like being squeezed on all sides, not very hard, but hard enough to make you want to escape it.
What causes emotional itchiness? Maybe it’s a ‘grass is greener on the other side’ situation, or lack of gratitude. Or maybe you think if you were braver, or smarter, or worked harder you’d figure it out more easily. After all, other people seem to be doing it just fine.
Emotional itchiness builds in subtle ways: you’re irritable; you complain; you're more critical; you’re more reactive and less proactive. This state of being fine/okay/whatever also starts to splatter onto others. When someone asks if you’re okay, you’re quick to say,
"Of course I am! I’m fine!!"
There’s so much more you want to say, but you don’t know how to.
What you want seems so reasonable and straightforward: You want to wake up excited to start your day. You want better, closer relationships with people in your life. You want to feel truly grateful. You want to feel like you are doing meaningful things. You just want to be free from constraints. You want to go to sleep at night feeling satisfied. It feels entirely possible and yet so far from where you are now. But this is all easier said than done —there is still that pesky problem of how to actually make this magic happen.
I know it can be scary to think about unravelling these knots we’ve inadvertently tied around ourselves. The tightness slowly creeps and intensifies over time. It seems easier to let it be. After all, you’re busy and there’s not a lot of time to sit down and untie it all anyway. So you get back to the business of living, feeling a bit constricted.
But you know that something has to change —and soon. You can feel it building inside you, along with a new truth:
You deserve so much more than to just be fine or okay.
This new truth is just a whisper at first, but it sticks around and it grows.
Fortunately, when you aren’t living the life you need, when you are getting farther away from who you really are, the Universe will "kindly" deliver you an invitation for change —sometimes it’s a strange coincidence you can’t ignore, sometimes it’s a boiling over of frustration that makes you brave, and sometimes its a bit more like everything is crashing down around you. But what is really happening is that you’re being invited to get yourself moving in the right direction. (Well, sometimes it’s more of a kick in the pants than an invitation, but, hey —whatever works, right?!)
Ugh, those moments are the worst, aren't they? It’s human nature to try and avoid difficult situations and unhappy feelings. But those experiences are so important! They remind you that you always have a choice. Even though those experiences are no fun, the far worse thing would be powering through those "invitations", missing the call to action and doing nothing. Powering through can be tempting —it feels like the strong thing to do... but it’s actually cowardice.
Yes, it is uncomfortable to change. It’s scary and weird and untethering. But if you think about it, you’re already uncomfortable
—it’s just that the dull, familiar ache you already know feels familiar and safer than the surprising and intense pain of building something new. The hard thing to do —the strong thing to do— is to face those invitations when they are offered and step into the new place that you are supposed to be —the place you deserve to be in your life.
Can you keep living the way you are?
I don’t know.
But you do.
Let yourself find quiet for a moment and wait for the answer. I’ll wait...
If your answer is, “No, I can’t live like this anymore” with a side of “but... I don’t know what to do or how to do it or even if I’m capable of doing it or even what exactly it is!" Don’t worry about that!
All you have to know right now is that you need to change and you’re willing to try and make it happen. I’ll help you figure out the rest! I’m good like that!
I understand this. I worked hard to change myself and build a life I loved. (If you want to learn more about “My Origin Story”.) One of the reasons I love my life so much is that I get to help other people do that too. My wish for you (and every person on this wacky planet) is that you wake up every single day committed to trying your best at being you, being excellent to yourself, doing good things in your corner of the Universe, and that, no matter what transpires over the day, you fall asleep feeling grateful and hopeful. That’s what you deserve, and it’s absolutely possible to achieve!
There is a fairly lengthy list of things I will never excel at like: reading maps, following directions, understanding the stock market, driving cars, sewing of any kind, talking quietly or not at all, and climbing high things, just to name a few. Fortunately the list of things I’m great at all comes in handy with this Life Coaching business I’m running over here, and includes such things as:
listening insightfully and incisively
helping people see new perspectives
being super duper honest and direct but also really nice at the same time
having hella good ideas and sharing them freely with others
helping people laugh at the ridiculousness of life (because what else is there to do?)
making complicated things clearer and easier to deal with
being organized and keeping things on track,
reading all the books and freely sharing my smart knowledge
getting shit done, including getting unstuck with doing shit, starting shit, and following through on shit
I became a Certified Life Coach because I love talking to people about their lives and figuring out solutions to their problems. . I eventually ended up taking the Life Coaching Certification course at the Centre for Applied Neuroscience, which included some not-so-gentle nudges from the Universe and a healthy dose of encouragement from the good people in my life. (For the record, I’ve never left the Centre for Applied Neuroscience - I’ve worked there since 2016! They can’t get rid of me! Though to be fair they really aren’t trying to get rid of me).
The thing that clinched Life Coaching for me wasn’t the classically altruistic, helping others stuff (which I do enjoy!) : it was a deeper, more self-centered motivation. I wanted to be happier. I wanted to help myself. I wanted to be (please forgive me for this cheesy Life Coach jargon) the best version of myself. And I want that for you too! (And for all the people we will sprinkle goodness onto!)
I’ve been working with people one-on-one helping them make positive and healthy changes in their lives since 2003. I’m in this for life. I can’t stop now, so do us both a solid and book a free Strategy Session, why don’t ya? (It’s fun and it’s free!)